make faces.

get snap happy every now and then. you never know what faces you'll make. magical. purely magical. your face will thank you.

then i will when you send me the pix ;) 

just let her dance.

put on your dancing shoes and start a revolution. paint the town pink and forget every insult you've ever heard. find the time to bask in the compliments and the humility to acknowledge that you are only as amazing as the people you surround yourself with. life changes with every breath and even though it gets hard to breathe sometimes, you have to remember the little things that make life worth waking up for in the morning... 

that makes me think of the end of Stranger Than Fiction ... love the ending:

As Harold took a bite of a Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be okay.  Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies.  And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction.  And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause.  They are here to save our lives.  I know the idea seems strange, but i also know that it just so happens to be true.

So. Go buy some Bavarian sugar cookies and hug a friend.

Somedays, thats all you need to get by.

geographical updates

so here i am

lazying around for the day

because for once i have the day off 

SO you better believe i didnt set my alarm and i let myself get a full 10 hours of sleep

waking up just around 12 all achy and alone

(my roomie was already out and in class)

so i stretched the sleep away and k

icked around under the covers for another hour or so

before inspiring some sort of hope for the day

geographically i am now back in singapore

after returning from jakarta late last night 

(although jakarkar was only a transit city)

i spent saturday traveling to bali and all day monday traveling back from bali

so bali was my geographical location for the weekend- well, more specifically sunday

RIP CURL held their big Surf & Music Festival

so mtv news went to cover the event which was a blassssst

i got to interview a bunch of local surfers and of course catch the competition

plus talk to some local bands and catch their performances later that night

all good fun and lots of sun of course

but perhaps best of all

WWF was also at the event and they had a booth set up forrrr

saving sea turtles!

it's really quite sad, these little guys pop out of their eggs and slowly make their way down the beach into the ocean and after making their way out to sea (if they even make it into the water without some other form of wildlife scooping them up for lunch) they have to fend off bigger fish, poachers, all kinds of crazy dangers.... so in the end, only something ridiculously sad like 1 out of 100 sea turtles actually makes it to adulthood!!! SAD! 

anyway i love turtles and since WWF was taking donations to help save the turtles, i adopted 5 lil guys and later after the crowning of the winner of the surf competition, we all got to pick out the turtles we adopted and take them out into the ocean to free them! they're SOOOO cute it's almost impossible to believe anyone or anything would wanna hurt them.

So after all that- the surfing, the music, the sea turtles, sunday was an awesome success and the only follow up was a beautiful morning of surfing on monday before we all left for the airport.

Rip Curl was so nice to set us all up for surf lessons- which my 2 news producers took along with a handful of other tourists and i grabbed a board and headed out on my own. Some much needed time out in the water, i wish i could surf everyday.... bali's got such good surf! and the warm water does wonders. I hate having to wear my wetsuit! talk about spoiled. i usually only ever surf hawaii and bali.... anyway a few good hours of surf in then off to the airport to fly to jakarkar (Where my mom lives) and she came to grab a quick bite with me at the airport before i caught the flight back here to singapore again.

and here i am, a little bruised (i almost always bruise after a good surf session), a little burnt (i think i may have gotten a liiiittle too much sun on my lil nose), and definitely exhausted but willing to do it all over again.

time to get back to work though, lots going on this week....

Kanye West is performing here in Singapore tomorrow night and i'll be making my way there after the ELLE magazine awards (yours truly was nominated for... "breakout star of the year"?! who knew!? me? a star?! interesting....) then friday is halloween! well well well will you look at where the time went!?

speaking of events, Avenged Sevenfold was recently in Singapore and i got to interview them as well.... funny guys... remind me a lot of home (well, obviously since theyre from about 45mins south of where i'm from in California....) Anyway make sure you guys look out for that interview as well as the Rip Curl stuff on a tv set near you very sooooooon.

i'm off and out

see you all quicker than you can figure out why pi = 3.14

<3

there are these moments...

there are these moments

these brief windows of open reflection

opportunities to look out into the world and yet back into yourself

deeper than you usually would

and suddenly you see it all so clearly

where you are

where you wish you were

who is around

and 

who is missing

i am not where i want to be.

in so many ways i'm not doing what i want to do

not surrounded by the people i wish i had near

not living the life i intended for myself

yet

and i'm a patient girl

i'm used to waiting for things

used to holding my breath

and used to counting sheep

sometimes i feel like i'm only sleeping to dream

because sometimes when i'm dreaming i feel more awake than 

i do day to day

last night i came face to face with such a big window 

that it swallowed me whole

and i'm still in there

framed and stuck 

struggling to get out

just to change it all and re LIVE the moment

and make it better

progressive

opportune

intentional

or something more purpose driven and time worthy

speaking of which

i've found out about this website through my bff who loves lists about as much as i do (which is an awful lot) so i'm passing it on to all you DRIVEN people out there who actually want to do things, somethings, anythings with your life

www.43things.com

check it out

oh

and smile.

love love <3

these thoughts are lucid

life's been hitting me from all kinds of angles lately

in all sorts of ways too.

not that the hits are fully painful 

(besides sometimes we find the pleasure in the pain)

sick and twisted isn't it?

so to start off, i should apologize for missing in blogging action lately

my internet has been wishy washy with me and like a bratty child, it only seems to want to comply long enough for me to exhale then it snatches me offline again.

*rawr*

anyway here we are, october 2008- the END of october 2008- and halloween is just around the corner... i havent done anything to celebrate halloween in AGES. One of these years i'm going to make my own costume and go out dancing ;) but not this year. This year i'll probably be at an event, not dressed up (but certainly dressed haha).

For the past month i've had nonstop visitors with me here in Singapore and i have been love love loving every moment with these people i love.  Being this far from home, i do find myself lonely often and not far between. But it's the kind of loneliness i'm used and usually do well embracing- BUT of course the company has been resurrecting for me. I feel refreshed being surrounded by these people who know me so well and can so often make me laugh until i cry. Best way to spend a day!

I've also been traveling a lot- part of why i've been missing in blogging action... this month i have been to thailand twice, hong kong, indonesia, etc etc etc There's lots going on. LOTS. I'm not complaining, i'm loving it. The work has been good, i'm still learning a lot about my job as well as myself, and i've seen all sorts of new things i never thought i'd experience.

I've also been doing a lot of me-unraveling. I've talked to two of my best friends this month about the process of soul searching/ unraveling/ self discovery... it's a deeply sensitive soul tearing process that takes a lot of time, courage, effort, honesty to truly attempt and i dont know where or when i started but i've been slowly unraveling the inner workings of ME. I've been taking time to be truly honest with myself and who i am and how i want to live my life, who i want to be... 

It hasnt been a pretty process, definitely not predominately joyous, but very satisfying to say the least and i know i'm only getting started but i've gained so much clarity... all these years of me thinking i was being honest with myself, i've only recently opened the door into that room and let myself be fully swallowed by the darkness- and now i'm walking my way across to the other side.

can't wait to come out alive.

okay back to work. lots of heavy thoughts in this singapore rain. i'll write more again soon. i promise.

love.