this was written on March 6th, 2009 @ 4:22am

If I could tivo anything, I’d tivo my dreams…
I have the most insanely wickedly vivid dreams most nights
The kind where I wake up unsure of what world I’ve been living, breathing, and loving in
Or sometimes, fighting for my life...
Speaking languages I don’t remember ever hearing

for the record, I’d just like to say it is entirely possible to be optimistic without being naïve

i’m not sure most artists/ singers/ bands realize how truly lucky they are to be such big witnesses to one of the greatest miracles of human life- they are smiled upon daily and often by massive groups of people at once…. Can you imagine THOUSANDS of people smiling at you at once?!
In an interview once they asked me my favorite part of the job- without a doubt, my number 1 favorite aspect of this life i've chosen is being smiled at. What a beautiful feeling. Second favorite thing to do with my lips.

I decided sometime in my preteen years that I will someday find a way to make the entire world smile at once- not so much in the same exact minute but maybe due to the same exact cause? It’s a slow progressing project… but I’ve had a pretty good start so far… I’ll keep you posted.

tonight was hands down (this is the best day I can ever remember, i'll always remember… sorry a little dashboard confessional came to mind…) anyway, hands down one of the top 3 shows I have EVER been to and I may be only 23 but I have been to MANY MANY shows in MANY countries and heard MANY different types of music… but tonight…. My soul was ablaze. If you havent already seen Mr Jason Mraz LIVE and in the sweet flesh, vocals, hat, exuberant gestures and all... i HIGHLY recommend you find out when he's playing in your city and GO. You can thank me later.

Lately everything in my life feels enhanced… as if I’m extra sensitive to EVERY sensation, emotion, thought, the oddest little things… as If I’m going through some intense lunar cycle and the universe is trying to tap into my soul and feed me through every pore and strand of hair, eye lash, toe nail… it’s made so very aware that I am ALIVE and I am kicking.

I recently finished reading “things I overheard while talking to myself” by alan alda (one of my favorite men EVER) and I learned so much…. Sometimes we all need to listen to ourselves a little more

Jason Mraz told me today that the best advice he’s ever received is to stop listening to the questions and just believe in what you know.. that’s the answer… and it really is…

i’m reading the 7 spiritual steps to success right now, one of my dear friends gave it to me a year ago when I moved to singpore and in the move I lost it somehow… I found it the other day…. And what a moment to find it... right when i'm reinventing my life all over again. Its not quite like someone's jump started my heart but it's kind of close to that feeling. Do you know what i mean?

okay this ramble is truly rambling and it's late. i've got to be up in a few hours so i'll leave you all with that and post again soon from a different state of mind... maybe.

love loving love love
taya*