mind.FULL

this little girl's got a lot on her mind tonight...

thoughts dancing across my walls, singing through my head like a cacophany of finely tuned memories that wont seem to let me sleep.

another night wide awake.

brainstorming like pinky and the brain... except i'd rather SAVE the world than TAKE over.

besides, it's not like the world needs anymore political influence let alone another tug-of-war for power... and trust me, i'm no politician. I'm too honest.

So let's try this honesty thing out. If you dont mind i'll dive right in.

i've been reading a lot of blogs lately... mostly friends, a few more famous names, but overall i've come to the conclusion that as much as i love to write, i never seem to write exactly how i want to sound... okay well i wont say "never" but i rarely seem to adequately get my thoughts out and on paper (or in this case the computer screen) quite how i'd like... and yeah i'm one of those people who drafts and redrafts and then undrafts and redrafts the undraft... i do most of my drafting mentally... then when it gets too long to coherently keep track of, i end up writing it all out as a letter or a journal entry (this is probably where i should admit to my hardcore addiction to notebooks. it's an odd habit, i know, but i can't seem to stop buying them!?) Anyway... i have a big conversation coming up in my (altogether too) near future and i'm trying to find all the right words to say... but this is one of those situations where there are no "right" words... just honest words and so i guess you could say i'm trying to draft out the most honest monologue possible; i say monologue because i already know that i'll be doing most of the talking. In fact, i'm pretty sure the person i need to talk to, is completely oblivious to the fact that this ramble of honesty is headed straight for them and life may not (better not) be the same after this epic conversation occurs. 

dare i cross my fingers on this one?

*sigh* i feel like i've been keeping my fingers crossed a lot lately.

dont get me wrong, i'm not the type of girl who sits around and expects life to gently place blessings in the palm of her hand- quite the opposite. I RELISH the opportunity to work for something and i like to think i do my fair share of work for the things, the people, the WHATEVER i want. i firmly believe that luck is when preparation meets opportunity... lately i just feel like i'm all prepared and the opportunities wink my way then disappear out the door as soon as they've bought me my first drink. It's all very confusing. Frustrating. IRRITATING.

so i'm crossing my fingers again.

Here's to preparation and opportunities colliding like cupid and his damn arrows.

wish me luck with my upcoming conversation. i have a feeling, no matter how many drafts i create, i'm not quite ready for this opportunity. 

but time waits for no one... and this little girl is getting tired of overcompensating.